Love Me Again (After Break Up)
by cucumbuur
Summary: It was hard for Santana after the break up. She knew it was her fault, not Brittany's. She did almost everything. But what should Santana do to bring Brittany back?


**Santana...**

I was spending the every second while sitting on the couch, thinking what should I eat this dinner, then... Brittany crossed my mind. I mean, of course, it's hard for us to end up like this. What was I thinking? I could've been in love with that, that girl. But no, I just realized, lots of times actually, that I still love Brittany.

"Ow!" I screamed as my head hit the hard flooring. I was slouching too much and didn't realize I was slipping.

"Knock knock!", Kurt screamed. "Santana, Rachel and I-" he suddenly stopped.

"Ahahaha! What happened to you Santana? Ahahahaha!" Kurt said, sheepishly and mean.

"Oh Santana, if you could just see yourself!" Rachel laugh as they entered the door.

Instead of ignoring them, I joined their laughs.

"You guys are so mean. You could simply help me stand." I said with a smile, then went back to the couch.

Rachel and Kurt put the plastic bag beside me. I opened it, "Thanks," it was a Rigatoni alla Carbonara from the Italian restaurant downtown.

Rachel smiled, "You're welcome Santana," Kurt dragged her, then they sat beside me.

"Isabelle said that I'll have a promotion Rachel! I was so excited and I couldn't believe it! We should celebrate!" Kurt blabbered to Rachel.

"Oh my god Kurt! That's, that's amazing! And I agree. We should celebrate!" Rachel.. Oh Rachel. She's still annoying. "Won't we Santana?" Kurt pleaded.

"Of course Lady Hummel! Should I buy some drinks?" I offered nicely.

"Oh, no, no. Santana, we've got lots of drinks there! We've got wine, scotch, whiskey-" I know Kurt was excited.

"Right, Kurt! So, let's get this Party on!" Rachel went to the Sound System. Turning it on. Kurt jumped up and down like a baby.

_Do you think about me when you're all alone?_

_The things we used to do, we used to be._

_I could be the one to make you feel that way._

_I could be the one to set you free._

I went to the kitchen and opened the cabinets. It took me long to find the drinks. At last! Whew. I grabbed three bottles of Heineken, Jack Daniels and Drambuie, got some chips and a bowl. I took the bottle-opener with me. Damn! Kurt and Rachel doesn't know how bad I wanna drink tonight. But, I wanna be silent. I don't want them to know.

"Whoa, whoa, Girl, are you serious about that?" Kurt's eyes bulged after he saw what's in my hands. Rachel's too.

_Do you think about me when the crowd is gone?_

_It used to be so easy, you and me._

_I could be the one to make you feel that way._

_I could be the one to set you free._

I sat down beside Kurt, putting down all the drinks, chips, and the bowl. "Oh, I forgot glasses and ice, wait guys." I said. While trailing off, I overheard what Rachel whispered to Kurt, "I know that Santana is not good when she's drunk." Kurt simply nodded.

Pretending not to hear, I went to the kitchen, AGAIN, and grabbed some ice and glasses.

"Hola, mi amor!" I screamed as I sat down beside them. Kurt and Rachel smiled and laughed with me. Rachel puts ice in the glasses, Kurt pouring the chips in the bowl, while me, opened Heinecken and Jack Daniels. "Putting the Drambuie last would make us tipsy..." I said.

"Santana, are you sure about this?" Rachel asked, worried, I think.

"Guys guys. It's the friday! Weekend, remember?!" slapping my words to their faces.

Kurt managed to dislocate the topic, "C'mon, c'mon!" He poured the three glasses full Jack Daniels. He grabbed a bottle of Heineken, and sucked them up. Rachel followed and I drank the last.

_When you need a way to beat the pressure down._

_When you need to find a way to breathe._

_I could be the one to make you feel that way._

_I could be the one to set you free._

I remembered that I haven't ate the pasta. So I saved it up.

"I know I know!" Rachel screamed. She was drunk for sure. DRUNK ALREADY? So Rachel. "How about, you Kurt, and Santana, and me, of course, have an awesome 'Who can Drink faster?' fight?" She laughed then patted Kurt's shoulder.

"What kind of fight is that?" Kurt asked, I can tell he's kinda drunk too.

I was pretending not to be tipsy, but it's taking me over.

Rachel laughed, a shaky one. "Kurt! Uhm, uhh, we, three, of course not four, shall battle out who'll finish this bottle of 330ml Heineken!"

_I could be the one to make you feel that way,_

_I could be the one to set you free._

_I could be the one to make you feel that way,_

_I could be the one to set you free._

_I could be the one to make you feel that way,_

_I could be the one to set you free._

_I could be the one to make you feel that way,_

_I could be the one to set you free._

"Shut up, Berry." I laughed. "I'm on it! This is so fun!" Kurt screamed, my ears almost blow.

"Okay. In three, two, one-"

Before Rachel could finish, I sucked down already, I saw Kurt and Rachel sucked down their drinks too. I know how bad I need this. I need to, I need to forget everything. Except Brittany. Wait, that was wrong. I want to forget her so bad. But I know it was the only thing I cannot do. I finished mine first. Noticing that I was laughing involuntarily, Kurt finished the same way Rachel finished hers. They joined me laugh, I grabbed some chips and drank the Jack Daniels. I know I was almost out of my mind. I noticed that Rachel and Kurt went awkward. They're looking at each other while faking the laugh.

"You know Kurt," I said tipsily, "I miss when you and Blaine, y'know that?" Laughing and starting to hiccup.

I grabbed the Jack Daniels, poured another glassful, drank it down. "Hey you two, why is it always me drinking?!" I screamed. Too loud I guess.

"Okay Santana, Okay." Kurt laughed, but Rachel didn't. She simply drank her glass.

"That moment when you and Blaine were flirting. Damn, you're so gay. And how could I?! Rachel! The oh-so-called Finchel cream of the crop. Haha! I miss those days."

_I am drunk. Santana, stop this. Stop your mouth._

I didn't realize it was me who emptied the bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Haha! Rachel Rachel. Damn girl." Kurt looked at Rachel, but they said nothing.

"And here's me. Santana Lopez. The huge bitch of WMHS, turned Diva... Faked a girl who I used to be my fake fucking girlfriend to see if Brittany'll get jealous. But she didn't. She stayed with Sam, didn't realized my effort." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Haha, you how that feels?" Tears are falling through my eyes.

_Santana Lopez, shut up you bitch!_

"She didn't even picked me. It was sad. I felt, felt so bad I fell into that Ginger Girl's fucking books! Damn fuck."

Rachel and Kurt stood up, went beside me, wiping my tears. Kurt said, "Santana, let us put you to bed. But first, change clothe-"

"No! You don't know how I feel! I lost the love of my life, because of me! She wasn't stupid! I am! Santana fucking stupid Lopez!", Rachel wiped my tears, leading me to my room.

"Rachel, you should take her a shower while I find her some clothes." Kurt commanded.

"Sure, Kurt-" Before Rachel could finished, I vomited into her dress.

"Oh God Santana, look what you did!?" Rachel, remorse fill her voice..

_Oh damn Santana, go. Fuck yourself._

"Ahahaha! Sorry, but I'm not." I stood up, went to the comfort room. They followed me behind, Kurt held my night dress and Rachel wiped my vomit with another clothing. I sat near the toilet, vomiting again.

"How does it feel that Blaine cheated on you Kurt? And you," pointing at Rachel. "Does it hurt? But look, they want you guys back." I vomit again. Wiped my mouth, "Why Brittany doesn't want me back? I paid her a visit, I did everything I can. Why the fuck!?" I vomit again.

Kurt and Rachel went close to me, patting my back. Then I trailed off...


End file.
